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All the Stages of a Relationship

The scientists have said their opinion: the most common type of love relationships deals with a person who is a narcissist and the other one who is an empath. The gender is irrelevant in this question. Let’s see what happens when the two actually meet.

The beginning

What actually happens in the beginning, is that an empath gets attracted to a narcissist. It doesn’t get the other way around, but what is surprising here is that the whole relationship is about the narcissist. He is in its center. Let’s see why.

The empath

An emapth is a person with the ability to perceive the mental or emotional state of another individual. – A Dictionary

Every empath loves deeply and unconditionally. He feels emotionally fulfilled and satisfied thinking his love is reciprocated from the opposite side. For an empath, this relationship is in the center of his world since he is the one who is in love. An empath has an honest heart and cannot imagine that he can be manipulated by his loved one.

That the relationship is all about the narcissist, the empath realizes very slowly. In an attempt to please he tends to ignore his own needs. The more love, devotion, and effort the empath puts into the relationship, the narcissist feels more control over the relationship and the empath himself. So long the empath appeases the narcissist, it’s impossible to detect any problem in the relationship. The problems start when the empath reaches the breaking point and he finally raises his voice.

The empath is unsatisfied because from the beginning of the relationship he believed his partner’s emotional needs are all that matters. When he finally understands that his feelings also matter, he speaks out but it somehow sounds selfish.

Let’s now hear the narcissist’s side.

The narcissist

A narcissist is a person who has an excessive interest in or admiration of themselves. – A Dictionary

As the definition suggests, the narcissist plays no role to develop a stronger bond but creates an illusion of a perfect relationship. It may seem that the narcissist wants this relationship as much as the empath, but what he actually wants is to have someone who invests his time in himself. As the time passes, the narcissist makes the empath feel weak and unconfident. The narcissist’s usual saying would be: “ I don’t want to hurt you but…” but he will be looking down at the empath’s interests. So, naturally, the empath will start believing that he is less capable and that he needs the narcissist in his life. What actually happens is that the narcissist projects himself as the victim of his past, relationships, or simply the circumstances. The empath is such a person that he tries to make up for all the unfortunate things that have ever happened to the narcissist. Mission impossible!

In the end

The empath

At some point, an intelligent empath realizes that the narcissist is just an attention seeker and he finally decides to take the attitude “My feelings also matter.” That moment, the narcissist calls him “crazy” and over-dramatic. The empath will be trying to communicate with the narcissist in all truthfulness, but the other side will justify his behavior and pass the blame. The empath will be feeling lost, confused and hurt and will need to do the self-evaluation. This is the point where he will start transforming. The bitter truth is that not everyone deserves empath’s love, care, and affection. Some people have their sinister motives and different outlook towards relationships. The empath will learn much from this experience and will move forward. He will be stronger, wiser and more cautious about his future objects of love and affection.

The narcissist

Perhaps not so surprisingly, he will continue as if nothing has happened. He would feel completely innocent and not for a moment will he remember that someone loved him so deeply and intensely.  He won’t remember the powerful bond he once had with the empath and will just move on to search for a meaningful relationship somewhere else. Not long afterward will he find a new ‘victim’. Until the day comes when he realizes he is not able to connect either with himself nor with other people.
The End.

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